As we all know pregnant woman usually have to resort to the old maternity clothes. Though some woman have learned several techniques to avoid ever having to wear them. Either being they just don't get very large, they live in the south and so they can wear overhauls all day long or they just endure.
I have heard some woman use the old rubber bands through the button hole. Then latching it around the button of there jeans to expand them. I actually used that creative idea for a while. Course that only lasted for a time until my jeans began to cut into my belly.
You see I have a strange body shape. I have a very skinny waist but then I have been blessed with the big old booty. So when I bought jeans before Bean I had to buy high waist tops. Now those cute little jeans don't work any more.
One day I was getting ready for church. After going through about 10 different outfits trying to find something that I could fit into, I finally settled on a pair of jeans and long shirt to hide the rubber band. I walked into the bathroom to do my hair as Dan was stepping out of the shower. He took one look at me and said, You're wearing jeans to church? (mind you this was last month when I was going through the throws of hormones/ mid life crisis) I blubber something about, “Yes I am wearing jeans!” “I can't find anything else to wear”. Then I go running out of the bathroom. When I reached the bed I throw myself onto pillows like a teenager and began to sob loudly. I seriously looked like I had just broken up with a two week long boyfriend at 13.
A few moments later Dan cautiously entered the bedroom and said, I didn't mean to upset you dear. All it takes is one evil glare and he scurried off like a scared crab running from a seagull chompers.
After changing my clothes a million more times I finally settled on the jeans with the long shirt again. Ha! Isn't that a girl for ya.
So when I got to church, I felt really silly. Course people who didn't know I was prego came up to me and said, you look so cute! I just love those jeans with that top. I just stood there stunned and shocked! God had answered my teenage prayers and blessed me with confidence. Who would have ever known God actually answers hormone enraged prayers. I had more compliments on how I looked that day than ever. I really felt so cool. Thanks God..
Now my belly isn't the only thing that's growing. The trunk of my body has expanded as well as my bazoongas! Holy Cow! When I look in the mirror my shape has gotten quiet comical. I actually laugh at myself. Though what I think is funny looking seems to be attracting the male crowd even more. (Roll Eyes)
I will be sitting in a chair minding my own business, when I actually will have men lean over to check out my hooters! I have been finding that I have been getting hit on more than ever lately. Do boobs really have this effect on men or is it the PREGANACY GLOW? Gross, is all I can say! I feel like I should break out a berka!!
Anyway off of boobs subject and onto more important things. Shopping! So I went to the clothing store the other day and wandered around looking at all my option for about a hour. Not even making my way to the dreaded maternity section. I don't know why I dread that section. Maybe because I fear if I step in there I will marked as a woman with child and have to endure the, Oh how many weeks along are you. Oh, I just love being pregnant, don't you?? So I saved the maternity section for last.
After realizing I have fallen from the graces of the teen department, I give up and waddle over to the Dead Zone. Trying to make the best out of a fearful moment I start with a simple shirt. I pick one out of the stack and unfold it. Of course the sucker keeps on unfolding and unfolding like a father showing off pictures of his 10 kids from his wallet. OH Shnap and that's a small!
Then I find some pants that aren't to bad. I try them on. I really think they were meant for a whale. Of course they were a size small as well. Dude, where in the world are my size. I nearly cry because I am so frustrated. I finally landed on some work out Capri's in the non pregnant section. They are super comfortable but they aren't quiet work friendly. After paroozing the store for over two and a halve hours, I leave the store with a bra, the pants and some panties. Whoo Hoo!
I felt so vulnerable not to mention annoyed. I am like surely there are clothes out there that don't look like they took a sheet and draped it over a whale.
My friend was telling me she saw this one pregnant lady wearing tights and a little tight shirt. She said, I swear she looked like a snake that had swallowed a elephant. I actually laughed out loud. I guess cause I totally got the picture.
After all this stress about not having anything to wear, God reminded me of the maternity clothes that my girlfriend from church had given me. Then a week later my sister n law gave me two giant boxes of clothes. While another lady at work today gave me bag of her daughters clothes. I nearly cried. How God answers my prayers when I need him the most. Now I just got to fit into all these clothes. Ha!
No comments:
Post a Comment